I’m not always okay and that’s okay.

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I know I’m too hard on myself, I’ve probably written about this before. It always comes up. When I start to compare myself to not only others, but my past self.

Am I doing enough? Am I better than before? Why do I always put unrealistic expectations on myself? And compare myself to the past or to other’s that I will never be?

It’s a terrible cycle and I hate feeling like I am not doing enough. It happens on days I don’t do anything or days I accomplish so much. It happens on a day something wonderful happens and I wonder If I even deserve it.  One of the quotes I use most often with my art is: “you are more than enough”. This is because I need this reminder so so much. I always forget my worth and that I am more than I believe. I can do amazing things. I hold myself back so much and all that stems from how hard I am on myself. Whether that be with work, school, parenting, friendships, relationships, I always tend to feel I am not doing enough no matter how hard I try. I always tend to put this sense of guilt onto myself if I’m not 100% in all aspects in my life.

HOWEVER… I’ve realized though that life isn’t about being 100% all the time. It’s about balancing your priorities and figuring out which means the most to you.   Which ones give you the post sense of accomplishment and joy. When you do something and you don’t even need to question if it’s enough, because it already feels that way. When you reach out to someone and it isn’t hard. You don’t have to force yourself or force a friendship – it is just wanted. When you take on what you can handle and not put others stress’ or issues onto yourself. There is only so much that you can do in a friendship, relationship, or workplace. I find that if I can’t help someone or a situation I’ve failed them and I put so much of that onto myself.

I know that it’s important to care, it’s important to have compassion, and love for people you haven’t even met or known very long.. But it’s also important to know, that you can’t save everyone, you can’t put the weight of the world on your shoulders and sometimes when you do something for the greater good – it isn’t seen that way and that’s okay. Just remember to stay true to yourself and your beliefs. 

In the end it will work out.
You do enough.
You are enough.
What you do matters.

You matter.

Love yours,

Michelle

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